I was raised in a pretty religious family and growing up I was taught that homosexuality was a terrible sin. In my pretty hardcore religious school, I was taught that homosexuality was one of the worst sins and only brought onto the worst of people. When I started realizing my sexual orientation, I had a very hard time coming to terms with it and struggled with the belief that God hated me. It led me to think about suicide. Thank fully with time, I was able to come to terms before making a terrible decision.

This last year has been pretty stressful for all of us. I’ve been very lucky to have some really good friends in SGN to help listen to me moaning about my problems and offer advice on how to overcome. Not to mention, all the late night gaming sessions and joking around on Discord helps a lot too.

Journaling: I’ve kept a personal journal for several years. When I have thoughts running through my head that I just can’t stop, journaling has always been a great way to relieve them. Putting it into text lets me get it out of my mind with the knowledge that I can always come back to it if it’s important. It also makes me examine my thoughts so I can put them precisely. This often makes me realize how inconsistent or nonsensical they really are.

ASMR: When I’m feeling really anxious, listening to some ASMR generally helps me calm down. That’s usually a roleplay or personal attention video. I’ve got a dedicated youtube account just for cute ASMRtists that I like.
Mediation: I’ve never been good about doing it regularly. Probably only strung together 30 days in a row, but when I mediate regularly it really helps prevent ruminations and increases my focus. Mediation has been proven scientifically to help with depression and anxiety too.

Exercise: Nothing clears my head, helps me feel more centered, or calms me down more than heading to the gym and getting a good work out it in. Usually this means a good cardio session with the intensity depending on my current mood. Read Less

For me, suicide was never an option. Commiting suicide would mean for me, that the others would win. That kind of satisfaction I don't want to grant to others. Following that thought brings us to the main issue of that matter, meaning how to deal with problem situations that are unsolvable for me, no matter how much effort I put into it. In a way I developed a technique to do it, which is only a workaround, because I don't solve the problem. I imagine myself as part of an away team from a spacefaring civilization, say something like a United Federation of Planets. In this Federation there is a non-interfering order called the Prime Directive, which prevents away teams like mine to interact with others for problem solutions. So I'm left with the ability to observe, which is what I do in real life. Concluding this thought, this means also that there is something really cool about this approach: I like getting experience, and so I can get an amazing one, being a witness of the apocalypse. You could also call it the madness of humanity, but I think the two are roughly the same thing.

So I sit here, in the restaurant at the end of universe, watching the dolphins preparing their departure. I like it.

Hey waiter, can I have another drink please? Read Less