I hear you'd like to team up to play Coliseum, ;)

Did you buy a calculator to play STO, but just haven't found the right moment to whip it out? Do you find the game mechanics behind running and walking enthralling? Do you think it's too bright in here?

Then Coliseum is the mission for you. This fast-paced mission doesn't stop throwing curve-balls as Cryptic elegantly eschews traditional Western story-telling conventions like "telling you what's going on," "being interesting," and "making sense."

The mission opens with an fast-paced flurry of grade-school arithmetic. What's 2472 times 8543? Solve the problems to get the codes needed to save your ship, because someone ingeniously designed an encryption system that tells users how to hack it.

While you're calming down from the excitement of math, you'll be teleported into a coliseum where you'll have to fight in a barren arena. Before entering the arena, though, Cryptic adds another twist: you can't use those boring energy weapons or kit powers that were forced upon you in previous missions. No, it's melee combat against random animals who have no reason to fight you... or to be there at all, really.

The excitement is only increased by the lack of audience in this coliseum, the dreary decor, the music from TOS's "Amok Time" on an endless loop, and the Reman doing nothing while creepily staring at you. What mischief is your unknown jailer up to that actually requires you to fight animals in an arena? Well, you'll just have to play to find out. (*Spoiler alert* You never find out.)

The mission then takes an even more exciting turn, so players with heart conditions should be warned before playing it: you now get to pick polite responses in a breath-taking conversation with the Reman in the next cell (Slamek). Remember to pretend he actually fought in the arena; this little white lie adds to the mission's counter-cultural subtext.

Now it's back to the arena to kill monsters you already saw during the Nimbus story arc. Interestingly, you actually have to use the coliseum's own defenses against them, and their controls are conveniently located in the arena itself. Since apparently no one is going to prevent you from doing so, press F to destroy the brilliantly drawn and absolutely horrifying giant worm.

After escaping with all the other prisoners (*spoiler alert* the only other prisoner is Slamek) through a door whose controls are also conveniently located in the arena, you enter a room surrounded by sewage and chock-full of computer screens that will give you enormous blocks of text to read. You could spend hours here enraptured in back-story, but you must quickly escape the... uh, the coliseum aliens?

This is where "Coliseum" hits its groove. You're running across an enormous map with obstacles that redefine the word "fun": hide from a passing aircraft among some rocks that don't actually cover you, find herbs for Slamek because he's tired after running for 2 minutes, and collect firewood because Slamek sure as hell isn't going to help you. But mostly just enjoy the scenery; you're going to be staring at it for a while as you run across this enormous map.

Cryptic has one more trick up its sleeve at the end of Coliseum, as one of the many, many characters you interacted with in the mission betrays you. I won't tell you which, but you're in for a surprise.

Math, melee, manners, and a massive map - Cryptic shows that it still knows how to keep players on the edge of their seats.

Wishing you a speedy and full recovery!

@zeryon and @rasterpup

The boys helped me out by crafting my ship and ground gear, taught the ways of "Crafting for Beginners" and how to upgrade my gear. GAVE me all the needed resources to upgrade my gear each time I hit a new rank. Talked me through the life of a tac officer (never had one before, didn't like the ships, mind changed)

@eurrsk

Dragging me through the missions and stories that I didn't care for and making me laugh the entire time

Keep them coming guys :D

@joshintrepid (former fleet member), @knightchucky, @frozenlily, @lars1091

They have all assisted me in levelling my characters when I fell behind due to administrative duties over the initial weekend.

I forget this persons @ handle but the toon's name was "Delta Burke". They came to my rescue early in the Delta Recruit event when I was on Kassae looking for the Iconian tech thing and couldn't find it for an hour (tricorders on that map all point to a dead body far away from the Iconian tech). This person dropped their mission, teamed with me, redid the mission with me, and showed me where the tech thing was.

I've tried to pay it forward by telling everyone in chat where it is, but this person deserves a public thanks!


Delta Burke@Six-of-Nine

Quote by Gravity

Was you stuck on a mission and a white knight came to your rescue?

ooh this is my chance for my white knight to come rescue my poor, blonde delta dumbo!!! :woohoo:

I hope your shoulder is better and still useful after your recovery! best of wishes and luck!

Wishing you a speedy and full recovery!!! All the best.

As alot of you are aware, yesterday (04/10) I had to go into hospital for surgery on my shoulder. The operation was more extensive than originally planned (having to have alot of my shoulder joint removed than initially intended. However there has been a vast number of Stonewall Fleet that has given me alot of fantastic support in the run up to the operation and coming home after.

There are too many of you to thank personally, but I want to thank you all BIG TIME for your support and words of encouragement.

THANK YOU EVER SO MUCH

This. Just. Made. My. Day.!


No whether or not I actually participate is another story entirely!!!


Much love to the Clonesies!!!!

Have you made a delta recruit recently?

If not, you should have! chop chop go and make one, the rewards are awesome, if you aren't sure what it is drop me a message and I will be happy to go over it in detail.

For those of you that made a toon I would like you to nominate fleeties who helped you. Were you stuck on a mission and a white knight came to your rescue?

Were you not sure about the best way to build your new ship or where to put skill points on a class you had never played before and a helpful soul helped you out?

We are going to reward fleeties that make everyone's lives that little bit better. Post a reply with a fleetie who helped your delta recruit out and let us know what they did to help you and their name will be entered in a draw to win a copy of Sins of a Solar Empire Rebellion :D

There are 2 copies to give away and the draw will happen from all the names that are put forward.

The deadline for submissions is the 17th of May and the two winners will be announced on the 21st May.

Best of luck to all, go forth and help your fleeties, there just might be an awesome prize waiting for you at the end :)

Foundry missions are off the table for three reasons:

1. Cryptic's developers are professionals who have gotten paid for making these missions. As Voleron said, they can take a bit of roasting. Foundry authors are, by and large, NOT pro developers who have created something purely as a labor of love. It's mean spirited to go after them.

2. Additionally, a lot of missions are loathed due to technical issues or bugs, some of which have existed for YEARS. A foundry author can do nothing about a game-stopping bug, but Cryptic has that power whether or not they exercise it.

3. Pretty much everyone here has played every storyline mission multiple times. I've played a handful of foundry missions, but not all. To keep these 'reviews' entertaining for all members, let's keep them focused on the main story arcs.


Reminder: I'm looking for these reviews to be FUNNY and WITTY and not MEAN, especially as your challenge is to write a positive review of the mission. Sarcasm is encouraged. Cattiness is not, and catty entries will not receive a pizza roll.

I would say 'yes' out of respect for the authors who work hard on their missions. Cryptic on the other hand, has broad shoulders and can take a little bit of playful criticism ;)

I imagine Foundry missions are off the table. Because maybe that would be just a little too shady.

Haha this seems almost tempting. I sense that two missions in particular would be the focus of this competition and I think we all know which two.

To commemorate my glorious return to STO and everyone replaying storyline missions with their Delta Recruit alts, I've decided to hold a contest for all my lovely fleeties. Everyone is eligible to enter and there will be a PRIZE!!!!*

NOTE: This little contest is in no way created or endorsed by Stonewall Fleet.

Here's my challenge:

Everyone has that one (or more than one!) mission they just hate running. Pick a mission you absolutely HATE. Then, write a review of it as if it is the best mission in the game. Talk it up! Tell us all what's so "great" about it. Post it here for us all to marvel at. The funniest review (as selected by yours truly) will win a PRIZE!!!!*

You have until April 30 to post here, because that's my 30th birthday. 30 ON 30, WHAT. I'll pick a winner then while getting progressively more drunk and lamenting my lost youth. You can enter as many times as you want.

*This prize is not guaranteed to be good. It is also not guaranteed to not be good. But you will get at least one thing in the game itself. Perhaps I will send you a box of goodies in the mail if you don't mind sending me your address and/or postage isn't going to kill me. I could pull a Bilbo Baggins and give everyone a prize just for showing up. WHO KNOWS? But it will be wonderful.

Quote by Bonisagus

So what you are saying is that even Neelix's eyes were annoying. I'm trying to decide of Neelix or Harry Kim is the Jar Jar Binks of the Star Trek Universe.

Wesley Crusher! :lol:

So what you are saying is that even Neelix's eyes were annoying. I'm trying to decide of Neelix or Harry Kim is the Jar Jar Binks of the Star Trek Universe.